Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The transition
Because I am all buzzed up on frozen yoghurt right now, I thought I might as well ramble a little bit before I delve into a lecture on personality disorders. Of which I have about 4 disorders - no kidding. Not that I was particularly surprised... at the time. But now that I am actually studying the lecture and a personality disorder can be defined as:
An enduring pattern of maladaptive behaviour seen in
significant areas of functioning. There are limited stereotypic responses to
diverse social and personal contexts.
That doesn't sound so good.
So much has happened since that last time I wrote. From EOS3, skipped over semester 4 completely, and then studying 12 hours a day for EOS5, practicing clinical skills 2 hours a day on the weekdays, and barely getting anytime to do anything else. Living in more or less a shithole, where the water will suddenly be cut and there are weird bits all over the floor in our shared toilet. Also the aircon will intermittently stop working. From all of that to Dundee - dismal dundee/disappointing dundee/dull dundee. To be fair, it's been long enough that I no longer try to use alliteration for the titles of my diary entries. No more are the days where I'd spend about 5 minutes thinking of a negative adjective beginning with D that could somehow describe how I was feeling about Dundee.
From the prospect of going to Edinburgh, with all my friends, to going to Dundee, where I could possibly join 4th year. Then came the rejection, and finally it was decided that I would be going to 3rd year.
And now it's 7 months later, and the Aberdeen kids are coming in 3 more days, and L & S are in Germany, A has disappeared off the face of the earth almost, and is no longer with D. Things change so fast, and so unexpectedly too! Makes me wonder whether there is anything in this world that is actually constant.
Another hour and 6 minutes to go before I might be able to watch the season premiere of Game of Thrones. omg dragonssss.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Aww, sheet.
So it turns out that I've messed my life up more than I realized. I'm sitting at the laptop typing senseless words, wearing a dress with hearts all over it because I was playing wardrobe. I should actually be in the study room studying my butt off because what I realized (more like my friend told me) was that the upcoming exam will determine which uni I get partnered to. I will be doing my clinical school there for the next 3 years and possibly even working in the area. So if I get a really shite place (like Aberdeen for example, where it's walking distance to the South Pole), then I am seriously screwed. Not that I can let a thought like that to stop me from going out for meals and wasting my time driving around in the car and just sleeping. Sleeping excessively really does not help.
I don't know about the general public, but I get dizzy and headachey and lethargic after sleeping for more than 9 hours. Maybe it's my body's way of telling me that I'm not built for that kind of lifestyle. I know some people sure as hell are. They sleep and sleep and the next day they wake up for a couple of hours and fool around and then they sleep some more. How do they do that? It's ridiculous! Sleeping for 18 hours straight itself is impossible.
Today we had a clothing exchange 'thing'. A few of us brought clothes that we don't wear so often anymore and through it onto the table and just picked out clothing that we liked. I got quite a number of pieces. It's a wonderful feeling because it's all new and it just feels like I had this massive shopping spree. Best thing is that I won't even miss the clothing that I gave away! The clothes that did not manage to find a home will be sold at a bazaar on 2nd July. Don't have much time to get ready though, having to categorize and label everything. It's going to be a bit of a pain in the arse, especially since it's just a couple days after exams end and I'm putting everything on hold for the exams (or am I?)
But on a more serious note, if you've got an exam coming up, please buck the eff up and start studying, because your future and your future patients depend on it!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Oops, it's been awhile!
There's probably noone out there reading my blog, but I decided to check up on it and see whether it was still floating around in cyberspace and it was! So I felt obliged to update it, since it's been such a scrummy long time. Semester 3 has been absolutely killer. We did 4 systems - CVS, Respi, Haem, GIT. Each system was at least 4 weeks and took a lot of time to understand (who am I kidding, I still don't understand squat) but we all just have to push through and get by. Barely.
I don't know how future patients are supposed to put their lives in our hands. We still make so many mistakes and lack in so many departments: OSCE and knowledge-wise we are so very poor.
Well I feel like I should talk about something I just found out about. One of my friends might be dating another friend of mine. That's not a massive deal in itself, but the fact is that she broke up with her boyfriend of god knows how long. Or something like that. It poses the question 'Does love even exist?' It's ridiculous how after such a long time and the consensus that they will be together forever and have little children and live in a house that is this big and that wide with pots and plants and whatnot, someone can just come along and rock their world. Perhaps I'm using the term 'rock' a bit wrongly, but when I say 'rock' I actually mean mess it up like a tornado. It's quite unfortunate, but who am I (who is anyone?) to condemn their newfound relationship. In fact it's quite amazing what they have in order for her to throw away what she had with her ex.
EOS3 (end of semester 3) exams are coming up. They are going to be in less than 4 weeks. I haven't gotten much done; am far behind in my studying timetable. In fact, I still have House episodes buffered on my laptop. And this is because I'm up to date with everything else (HIMYM, Chuck, GG, BBT) and so I've gone onto watching other things like Misfits. Have got 4 systems to study, plus need to study for OSPE and OSCE and attempt questions and also I'm supposed to maintain good relationships with friend and family, eat healthily (as in no depression eating), exercise frequently and also practice the piano for my grade 8 exam? Life asks for too much. Not that I'm complaining :D
Monday, October 18, 2010
the reason why i can't study at home
The only time I study at home is at night, when I generally have no other choice. And during the day I'd prefer to go out and study at Starbucks or whatever the hell I can get. This is only because I take after my dad (I suspect anyway.) My mum wants me to stay at home and coop me up like it's some kind of jail, but I say hell no, woman, I'm going out. I just need the fresh air and then observing of the general public. I mean, just yesterday, I noticed that kids and their mums will sit at the table next to me in Starbucks. Like, literally, there were more than 3 people who came and went that were with their mum's. Maybe there's something about the seats or that it's next to a window (okay the entire thing is glass, it's not really considered a window anymore), or maybe there was something more psychological at work. Or maybe it was just the only seat available. I mean, I know I camped out my table real good.
So my dad likes to be out, he's not the stay at home and rot type. He's the up for lots of things type! And I feel that I'm like that too.
My Summative 2 is on Thursday, and I know I should already be in panic/survival mode. But I'm not really. Which is why it's 1pm on Monday and I haven't done anything. No I haven't even eaten breakfast/lunch. It's kind of sad in a way. I feel like I've already given up on it all. Although I should be studying real hard and stuff, I just... CAN'T. I watched 2 movies and lots of episodes on Saturday.
I felt guilty as hell. I should never let myself feel guilty for watching a couple of episodes of Shit My Dad Says. LOL that is a real funny ass show. Although I feel like the main character, Henry, talks way too damned fast. And he never seems pissed off. Cause there is always a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.
All right going to pretend to study now. Immunology!!! Yay!!! Books that don't make sense!!! Woo!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Pharmacology
Pharmacology is so hard to understand. Having to incorporate lots of what we have previously learned into understanding pharmacology itself - the actions of it, why it inhibits and all that rubbish - kind of has made me realize how medicine is not only about the human body and the diseases. Heck, that's just such a small part of the entire course! And also there are so many other aspects: community medicine and behavioral science for example. They seem like pretty insignificant subjects but in actual fact, I do believe that they play a crucial role in successful medicine. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my view on medicine is a total misconception. There is so much more to learn and understand than just involving the body. It is a total opposite of what I had expected it to be!
That's basically all we did today. I also attended a talk called 'Global Cooling'. It's ECOmergency week! Basically what the talk was about was that global warming is a big problem. We haven't reached the point of no return yet, but we have passed the tipping point. Apparently (I didn't know of this earlier), meat (hamburgers and cattle, you know the kind) actually leaves a large carbon footprint! So she suggested that we go on a plant-based diet. Something like a vegetarian. It's more a way of life or something like that. And based on the figures I saw, it left me freaking astonished! Unreal. The amount of water it takes to make 1lb of beef can be used for one year of showers. Perhaps I mixed up the facts, but the points listed out were as shocking as that. So perhaps a day a week I'll avoid eating meat. Or I'll just be more conscious about not eating meat. Meh. Chicken is good though... :(
She said that if we ever went to an animal farm we could get off meat just overnight. I wonder, I really do!
Living with a squirrel
Once upon a time,
in the Acorn Community of Treedom, there lived 2 squirrels. They were constantly surrounded by other half squirrels, but they were the only two pure squirrels in the entire world of Treedom.
I am not high on any drugs. Like Psilocybe cubensis. Mushrooms... I do believe that one day my cause of death could be ingestion of too much fungi. Like hyperfunginism. It's so great to be able to make up words that kind of seem like they are real medical diseases, but all I do is just add an -ism or an -osm.
So now that I am much more free than I used to be (not really, I should be studying harder than ever now and not wasting anytime on the internet... hence why I banned myself from FB until after EOS2. Not like that worked out very well though) I have decided to blog! I am now living with Suzen for the next week, at least until the cheerleading competition. She lives only about 15 minutes away; it's so amazing not having to drive 30 minutes back everyday. It's really quite ridiculous how expensive it can all add up to be.
Today we had lectures on autocoids, it was pretty interesting. Although apparently we might get tested on what he mentions in the lectures. Which I find pretty unfair - whatever we can get tested on should actually be in the lecture notes. Although this is actually debatable. Cause they can put in all this crap into the lecture notes and we would be expected to know everything blimming thing in it. Yeah, nevermind. That is too uncool.
Had CAL Lab today. L actually thought we would be working on real guinea pigs. Guinea pigs are like mutant hamsters, imo. Anyhoo what we had to do was plot a graph (okay the computer did that for us) on the dose-something something concentration or something. Ahhh hahahahah pharmacology fail! Anyway it was pretty boring, cause we literally just sat in front of the computer getting results and waiting. And the guinea pigs aren't real. They don't even have pictures of guinea pigs. Pfft.
I'm thinking of some new ways to decorate my room and/or study room. I was just surfing the net and I saw this really radical idea: using post-its to decorate the wall! Not the entire wall, just a small pattern in the middle of a side of the room. Kind of thing. And then you can even use the post its! There is a link to it somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find it. Haha L's idea was basically about this chick who made her walls blackboards. Sweet!!
in the Acorn Community of Treedom, there lived 2 squirrels. They were constantly surrounded by other half squirrels, but they were the only two pure squirrels in the entire world of Treedom.
I am not high on any drugs. Like Psilocybe cubensis. Mushrooms... I do believe that one day my cause of death could be ingestion of too much fungi. Like hyperfunginism. It's so great to be able to make up words that kind of seem like they are real medical diseases, but all I do is just add an -ism or an -osm.
So now that I am much more free than I used to be (not really, I should be studying harder than ever now and not wasting anytime on the internet... hence why I banned myself from FB until after EOS2. Not like that worked out very well though) I have decided to blog! I am now living with Suzen for the next week, at least until the cheerleading competition. She lives only about 15 minutes away; it's so amazing not having to drive 30 minutes back everyday. It's really quite ridiculous how expensive it can all add up to be.
Today we had lectures on autocoids, it was pretty interesting. Although apparently we might get tested on what he mentions in the lectures. Which I find pretty unfair - whatever we can get tested on should actually be in the lecture notes. Although this is actually debatable. Cause they can put in all this crap into the lecture notes and we would be expected to know everything blimming thing in it. Yeah, nevermind. That is too uncool.
Had CAL Lab today. L actually thought we would be working on real guinea pigs. Guinea pigs are like mutant hamsters, imo. Anyhoo what we had to do was plot a graph (okay the computer did that for us) on the dose-something something concentration or something. Ahhh hahahahah pharmacology fail! Anyway it was pretty boring, cause we literally just sat in front of the computer getting results and waiting. And the guinea pigs aren't real. They don't even have pictures of guinea pigs. Pfft.
I'm thinking of some new ways to decorate my room and/or study room. I was just surfing the net and I saw this really radical idea: using post-its to decorate the wall! Not the entire wall, just a small pattern in the middle of a side of the room. Kind of thing. And then you can even use the post its! There is a link to it somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find it. Haha L's idea was basically about this chick who made her walls blackboards. Sweet!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
It's been so long...
I haven't blogged in so long, and that's because I have been left emotionally and physically drained from after Orientation. Okay, I'm only not mentally drained because I didn't get much studying done. There was in a fact a lot of sleeping and then waking up to the alarm and then sleeping again, but basically you know the cycle.
Speaking of cycles... why are the parasitic cycles so hard to memorize? Or a more general question: why does life have to be so hard?!
Dang.
I like cake, I'm going to have my birthday cake tonight. There's something that I associate with cake. Especially since it's like classical conditioning. Every time there is a happy occasion or something quite rather important, there will always be cake. Mint chocolate ice cream cake ftw. So every time I have cake it makes me happy a little bit, because occasions generally consist of the gathering of family and friends. There were many other examples of classical conditioning that I was thinking about that recurred in everyday life, but for now I can't recall...
And I am totally aware of what I said about keeping the blog updated about Orientation. so that I can look back on it all one day and think about it. However I have been too freaking lazy to do something even remotely close to that. I have actually abstained from the internet for practically two entire weeks. But orientation nevertheless was very fun. Seiji and I came up with a term - pyrexia orientatia. I can't remember what his exact term was, but yeah. Orientation fever!! Emotions run high, problems arise, internal conflicts... all so fun. I can't wait to be even more involved in Orientation next semester, if I can.
I think telematch was really fun, and Variety night was a bit of a bust... but it's no big deal! I think what with everything else we have to deal with at the same, everyone had already put in lots of effort into it. Considering the amount of people that weren't very enthusiastic about Orientation in general and just didn't come fullstop. Party poopers!
Drove the Audi A5 Coupe today... and also scratched the rim pretty bad on the curb. I feel so bad, especially since it's someone's job on the line! And now he has to come up with an excuse about it. I feel really really guilty that I didn't judge the distance even better than I did. Ehh I feel bad. But it was really smooth and the insulation was top notch imo! not like I have much experience with all those really sexy ass cars, but it was pretty good. And the handling was good I think. Best I'd ever had. When I was driving my city down the hill after that it was so different lolol. I almost crashed the City. And it skidded quite a number of times, the brakes were practically smoking at the end of it.
CAKE1
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